Cantaloupe Get Clowned Ahead of Pivotal Week 5 Rivalry Matchup

If you’re a young child reading this, avert your eyes. If you were planning on enjoying a nice article on your lunch break later today, forget it. Last week's game was- for lack of a better phrase, nauseating. After being given the benefit of the doubt with being short-handed in week 3’s blowout loss, there was no way the Cantaloupe would come out that flat again at full strength, right? Wrong. The ‘Fighting’ Cantaloupe bounced back by turning in what was easily one of their worst efforts in recent memory, falling to Big Al and his Ballers 61-42 in a matchup that on paper, should never have been this one-sided. We’ve gone over the stats, We’ve talked with players and coaches alike, and the conclusion was that there’s simply nothing worth mentioning that would constitute a highlight. However, for the sake of the readers, here were your team leaders in week 4:

Points: Ryan (16), Mikey G (8), Lou (7)

Rebounds: Kev (8), Ryan (5), Mikey G (5)

Assists: Ryan (2), Kev (1)

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into the mud. If you’re wondering why I didn’t include the third-highest assist total, that’s because there wasn’t one. Yeah, that's right. Not a single player recorded an assist other than the three Ryan and Kev combined for. Maybe a little less focus on arguing with the refs and a little more on trying to move the ball eh fellas? I’ll unpack that later, but the blatant lack of movement on offense really brings the competency of the coaching staff into question. I mean seriously, 3 total assists? How about we make an adjustment one-time coach? Draw up some plays, mix up the lineup combos, something to try and get the team going a little. Anyway, I digress so let’s take a look at the point totals.

Where to even start with this? Half the team shoots whenever they touch the ball and the other half are apparently petrified to even put up a shot! Ryan unsurprisingly led the team in points with a modest 16, but his fellow Welsh bro Nick was nowhere to be found. Finishing with just 6 points on 2/8 shooting, Nick's struggles continued, and it seems to have rubbed off on Lou who was also out there chucking, going just 3/10 from the floor. Meanwhile, Chris, Anthony, and Tyler were at the complete opposite end of the spectrum, combining for a whopping total of 2 points on just 4 shot attempts. As for Kev and Mikey G, even though the point totals were modest, your stat lines were the only ones that didn't make me want to throw up a little so kudos on that.

Everything isn’t black and white though. Box scores can only tell so much and we all know there are two sides to every story. Sure the offense was hopelessly stagnant, and the effort on defense was sub-par at best, but how can you expect us to play well when the other team is talking trash and some calls didn’t go our way? I mean who do these men's rec league refs think they are not calling a flawless game? We had every right to lose our tempers and seemingly all focus on the game at hand to start complaining and arguing with the refs over the same calls they've been making for the 7+ years we’ve been a part of this league.

NEWSFLASH GENTLEMEN, the refs do not care if you didn’t like their call. Your opinion of their skills as a ref could not be more meaningless to them. They are there to make a quick $40 and get out of the house for an hour or two so PLEASE shut your mouths and get back on defense.

-Sincerely,

Everyone whose time was wasted watching you complain all night instead of just playing ball.

Eh-hem, now that I got that off my chest, let’s take a look at tonight’s game. Another chapter in one of the longest-standing rivalries in league history kicks off as the Cantaloupe take on the Hunt Club Ballers tonight @ 6:30. For those that followed us in the Winter, you might remember that the Hunt Club picked up their first-ever win against the Cantaloupe in the final game of the regular season 48-39. While the all-time head-to-head is still lopsided, it’s no secret that the Cantaloupe want that win back bad. We followed up with Coach O’Neill after last week's fiasco and while he didn’t have much to say about the dumpster fire we saw on the court, he was adamant that the team would be ready for the Hunt Club matchup, confirming that there would indeed be some changes made to the starting lineup. Music to most fan's ears and as a bonus, we were also able to get a sitdown with Nick who had this to say about the team's current state:

“I feel good about our chances this week,” noting that the team was due for a bounce-back, he took personal responsibility for his recent struggles going on to say that “I’ve been putting in the work, and plan to get a full shoot around in before the game to make sure my stroke is smooth like butter.” We went on to talk about the frustration of seeing teammates get caught up in foul calls or trash-talking but Welsh was adamant that if they can just block out the noise and play their game the Cantaloupe will be coming home with a W tonight. Well, Nick, I hope you’re right because back-to-back losses to the Hunt Club would be bad enough, but three straight losses on the year and an overall record below .500 are bad news for the Cantaloupes playoff hopes. Here are the standings heading into tonight’s slate of games:

Winded Warriors (4-0)

Hunt Club Ballers (4-0)

Ballers (3-2)

Hornets (3-2)

Too Tuff (3-1)

Derek Hits 3s (2-2)

Hold’Em Hillbillies (2-2)

Big Al’s Ballers (2-2)

The Fighting Cantaloupe (2-2)

Out of Shape All-Stars (2-3)

The Big Shermans (2-3)

Coulda Been Pro (1-3)

Lost World Ballers (0-4)

Free Agent Team R (0-4)

As always we look forward to seeing a packed Fruit Basket, and again, tip-off is scheduled for 6:30 @ Clayton HS.

Written by: Jonathan Abbott

May 4th, 2022